Stopping the Comparison Game: How the 10th Step, God, and a Sponsor Helped Me Find Security

Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and thought, “Wow, they have it all together”? I sure have. I used to spend so much time comparing my life to others. I would look at their big smiles, happy families, and perfect pictures and think something was wrong with me. But you know what I learned? I was comparing my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. And it made me feel small, insecure, and not good enough.

Thankfully, God, the 10th Step, and my sponsor helped me break free from that unhealthy habit.

What Is the 10th Step?

In the 12 Steps, the 10th Step says:

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

That means every day, I stop and check in with myself. I look at how I acted, what I thought, and how I treated others. It’s like taking a little heart check before going to bed. If I made mistakes, I admit them. If I did something kind, I give thanks. It keeps my heart clean and my mind calm.

The 10th Step taught me to focus on my own journey, not everyone else’s. It reminded me that I don’t see what’s happening in someone else’s heart. I only see the good parts they choose to show.

How God Helped Me See My Worth

Before recovery, I thought my worth came from being perfect or making other people happy. If I wasn’t the best at something, I felt like a failure. But through prayer and working the Steps, I came to believe in a loving, caring God who created me just the way I am.

I learned to pray:

“God, help me see myself through Your eyes, not the eyes of the world.”

When I asked God to show me the truth, I started to realize that I was comparing the messy, hard parts of my life to the shiny, happy parts of someone else’s. I saw their good days, their successes, and their victories—but I didn’t see their tears, fears, and struggles.

God reminded me that everyone has a behind-the-scenes story. No one’s life is perfect. And my value doesn’t come from being like someone else. It comes from being His child.

The Gift of a Sponsor

My sponsor played a huge part in helping me see this. Whenever I started comparing myself to others, she would gently say, “You’re only seeing their highlight reel.” She reminded me that I have no idea what’s really going on behind someone’s smile.

She taught me to pause and ask myself:

• Am I being honest about my feelings?

• Am I judging myself too harshly?

• Am I making up stories in my head about other people’s lives?

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With my sponsor’s help, I learned to stop and check in with my heart—just like the 10th Step teaches. She reminded me to keep my eyes on my own path and let God lead me through each day.

Letting Go of Insecurity

The truth is, comparing my life to others made me feel insecure. It made me believe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. But now, I remind myself that God made me for a special purpose. I don’t have to be anyone else. I just need to be the person God created me to be.

When I feel those old insecure feelings creeping in, I stop and pray:

“God, thank You for making me unique. Help me stay focused on my own journey. Help me let go of comparisons and trust the plan You have for my life.”

And little by little, those insecure feelings start to fade.

Stay on Your Own Path

Today, I still see other people’s highlight reels. It’s part of life. But now, thanks to the 10th Step, my sponsor, and my relationship with God, I know better. I don’t have to compare anymore. I can pause, take inventory of my own heart, and stay on my own path.

I’m learning that my life has value just as it is messy, beautiful, and real. And yours does too.

Remember, God doesn’t ask us to be perfect. He just asks us to be honest, to grow, and to trust Him one day at a time.

I love you and hurts to see you living in doubt and fear let God take your pain you gottawanna live with peace and love