Making a Life, Not Just a Living—Lessons from the 12 Steps

Sober AA Member
Feb 26
3 min read

For a long time, I thought success meant making money, working hard, and achieving more. I believed that if I had the right job, the right house, and the right things, I would be happy. But something always felt empty. No matter how much I accomplished, I was never satisfied.

Then, through the 12 Steps, I learned a truth that changed my life: true masters are those who choose to make a life, not just a living.

Step One: Admitting What Wasn’t Working

The first step in Al-Anon taught me that I was powerless over people, places, and things. I couldn’t control the world around me, no matter how hard I worked. Chasing money, success, or approval didn’t bring me peace. I had to admit that the way I was living wasn’t fulfilling me.

Step Two: Finding a Better Way

This step invited me to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I realized that God had a plan for me, one that was about more than just work and achievements. True happiness wasn’t about having more—it was about being present, loving others, and living with purpose.

Step Three: Trusting in God’s Plan

I made a decision to turn my will and life over to God. This meant letting go of my obsession with money and status. It meant trusting that if I focused on living with love and service, my needs would be met. This was a big shift. Instead of waking up thinking about what I had to do to succeed, I started asking God, “How can I serve today?”

Steps Four and Five: Looking at My Fears

I took a deep look at myself and saw how much fear controlled me. I was afraid of not having enough, of not being enough. I shared these fears with my sponsor and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I realized that I didn’t need to prove anything to be worthy. I was already enough in God’s eyes.

Steps Six and Seven: Letting Go of the Need for Control

These steps helped me ask God to remove my defects, including my constant need to control outcomes. I asked Him to replace my fear with trust. I started focusing on being present in my relationships instead of being consumed by work.

Steps Eight and Nine: Making Amends

I saw how my old way of thinking hurt my relationships. I apologized to people I had ignored or pushed aside in my pursuit of success. I began to focus more on connection and less on competition.

Steps Ten Through Twelve: Living with Purpose

These last steps helped me stay on track. I took time each day to reflect, ask for guidance, and help others. I found that when I focused on giving rather than getting, my life felt full.

The True Meaning of Mastery

The 12 Steps showed me that a true master isn’t the one with the biggest bank account or the most accomplishments. A true master is someone who chooses to live with love, purpose, and service. They don’t just work to survive—they work to make the world better. They focus on relationships, kindness, and faith.

Today, I try to live this way. I don’t chase things that don’t bring real joy. I put God first, serve others, and trust that my needs will be met. Because of the 12 Steps, I am no longer just making a living—I am making a life. And that, I have learned, is true success.