The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Isn’t it so true that sometimes we take things out on other people who don’t deserve them? Powerful!
After going through tough times we are often hurt deep within. What is natural is that we protect ourselves and our hearts. We push back, get defensive, yell at someone, or what I do- retract from those who hurt me and those who love me.
What I am learning (note- it is NOT learned!) is to accept what happened emotionally and still feel worthy. Then we can heal ourselves from the inside, and out. This has taken me years of studying books and listening to podcasts and watching movies. I really need to strive to become whole inside. I want to know I deserve love, peace, and happiness.
What has helped me a bunch is saying sentences (MANTRAS) to myself over and over every single day. We all create habits and these habits can be changed. What we say to ourselves is a habit. It may have come from our parents who talked to us for 18 years, from a spouse, a teacher, etc. Some of the things we say may be good, some bad. So look at the bad words we are telling ourselves and decide a different thing you are going to say instead each and every time. Now, this doesn’t change overnight- we have heard some of these things for decades! It will take time- just like any other habit. Watch for these thoughts and catch them! I used to think a negative thought each time at work when I would be making my product. It took me a while to even notice it. When I realized it, I changed it. I now say a positive thought each time I see this piece of my manufacturing equipment. ” I am whole, I am worthy of all my blessings.”
Another thing that has helped me to heal inside is EXERCISING. When I work out I feel better inside and out whether anyone else can tell or not. As you know, yoga changed my life from the inside out. I became confident slowly year after year while doing yoga a few times a week. It was slow but what a dramatic difference 5 years later. Meditation has also helped me a lot and I will lump that into the yoga spill because at the end of each yoga class, we meditated for about 5 minutes. I will tell you the truth it made me super uncomfortable. I didn’t want to just lay there and breathe for 5 minutes. The thoughts of everyday life would come in like a flood and drive me nuts! For a long long time- like years, I would leave when we meditated. But as soon as I could tell I was getting stronger inside, I made myself stay and do the meditation. I had so much hurt inside it would usually flow out of me in the way of tears, but sometimes just working out gave the trauma a release.
Getting out of the VICTIM mentality was huge. I have found out that I am in charge of me. I know that sounds really dumb, but before I felt like I was a leaf getting pushed around every which way. Now I take full control of my life. Yes, even the bad parts of the past I have found that admitting I was wrong and accepting my part in so many things made me feel better. I know who is in control. I get to decide where I go and who is with me. No more of this “poor me” and “can you believe this happened to me?” Nope, bad stuff happens to everyone. Of course, I have had my share and I was the director of it.
Taking NEGATIVE people out of my life has helped me. I had a lot of people fluttering around me whispering negative thoughts to me, “You were cheated. You are not a very good mom. You have never had a business class, how do you think you can run a company? You have had such a hard life.” NO! I haven’t had a hard life. I have a beautiful life with tons of experiences! Unfollow. Delete. Bye.
I have drawn in, so I don’t bleed on anyone while I am healing my wounds. It’s not the way many people would do it, but it works for me. I have learned compassion, forgiveness, love, and seek light. I want to be a light for others and can do that now I have found inner peace and light.
Everyone has wounds– What have you done to heal inside?
Until You Heal The Wounds Of Your Past, You Are Going To Bleed. You Can Bandage The Bleeding With Food, With Alcohol, With Drugs, With Work, With Cigarettes, With Sex; But Eventually, It Will All Ooze Through And Stain Your Life. You Must Find The Strength To Open The Wounds, Stick Your Hands Inside, Pull Out The Core Of The Pain That Is Holding You In Your Past, The Memories, And Make Peace With Them. ~ Iyanla Vanzant
Gottawanna heal and move on. Let it go thank you for God for guiding us forward and living in the answer love and service. No room for hate, anger, resentment or petty stalking of others.
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