You gottawanna move into the solution and away from the problem and this means letting go of the past, stop obsessing on others and focus on your recovery and pass on the message of love and service.
Dream big and dare to fail. Norman Vaughan - 1905-2005 - Dogsled Driver-Explorer
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte
There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk. Guy Gavriel Kay - Fantasy Fiction Writer
"Perfection itself is imperfection." - Vladimir Horowitz
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open. Dejan Stojanovic - Poet-Writer-Essayist-Philosopher-Businessman
"He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much." - Elbert Hubbard
Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything. Neil Strauss - Author-Journalist-Writer
"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." - Mahatma Gandhi
You are not lost, you are redirecting. You are not a failure, you are learning. You are not behind, you are preparing. Unknown
Pursuing Equanimity
When we feel dignity, we are not turned by a passing breeze, and we no longer need to defend ourselves from every shadow.
—Guiding Principles, Tradition One, Opening Reflection
When we were using, we adapted to the dangerous and hostile environments around us by developing survival skills. Even once we leave that life, we take these defenses with us. Early in our recovery, everything can seem like a threat to our well‐being. Our responses are often knee‐jerk, reactive, and based on a life we are no longer living, not our present‐tense recovery journey.
Over time, we find our emotional and spiritual footing. Equanimity is the art of maintaining this steadiness. We are not so easily thrown off balance by whatever waves may come our way. We find ourselves less drawn to drama, and we don’t view challenges as crises so often. The tide comes in and goes out, and we acquire, through our own and others’ experiences, a deep‐seated belief that we can get through this—that we will be okay no matter what.
The emotional wobbliness we have when we first come to NA subsides as we gain perspective. How we see the world changes and how we respond to what we see changes. Real‐life difficulties may emerge, but we can respond differently. When we are rigid, we are apt to get knocked down every time there is a storm at sea. In recovery, we learn to adjust our sails as we acquire “the wisdom to know the difference.”
We get more comfortable being who we are without justifying or explaining our feelings, thoughts, and actions. We relax into a new relationship with life and no longer need to be on guard, defensive, or reactive. Through the Eleventh Step, we learn to pause before reacting. In service, instead of acting impulsively, we can make choices that benefit NA’s common welfare. Meditation teaches us to slow down and listen. We don’t have to fix everything. We’re more open to the world as it is and to solutions that we may not have anticipated. We learn to be fully present and less guarded. We can stand in the middle of what is.
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Being part of something bigger than myself can serve as a life preserver. When I am tired of swimming, I can lean back and float. I can’t always see what’s under the water but can trust my buoyancy.
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Has Your Life Been Affected by Someone Else’s Drinking?
The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:
1. Do you worry about how much someone drinks?
2. Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
4. Do you feel that if the drinker cared about you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
5. Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
6. Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
7. Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you”?
8. Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
11. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
12. Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
13. Do you search for hidden alcohol?
14. Do you ever ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
16. Do you feel like a failure because you can’t control the drinking?
17. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
19. Do you feel angry, confused, or depressed most of the time?
20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you have answered “Yes” to any of these questions, Al-Anon may be able to help.
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