How I Learned Through God and the 12 Steps That I Affect Others Every Day

Before I started my journey in recovery, I didn’t give much thought to how I affected the people around me. I was too focused on my own fears, my own pain, and trying to survive one day at a time. Life felt heavy, fast, and full of pressure. I often felt alone, even in a room full of people. I didn’t know that the way I acted, the words I spoke, and the energy I carried could change the way someone else felt. I thought I was just trying to get by—but God and the 12 Steps showed me something deeper.

The truth is this: we affect people more than we know.

Step by Step, I Began to See

In recovery, I was taught to slow down and take a look at myself. Through the 12 Steps, I began to see how my actions mattered. Step 4 helped me take an honest look at my past—how I had hurt people, even when I didn’t mean to. I saw how my anger, silence, or even my fear could create sadness, confusion, or tension in others. That was hard to face, but it was the truth.

But the 12 Steps didn’t stop there. They also showed me how I could bring light to others. With God's help, I began to change. Step by step, I learned to treat others with more love, care, and patience. I started becoming someone who could lift people up, instead of dragging them down. That’s when I began to understand how much power each of us holds.

Our Energy Speaks Louder Than Words

I used to think that what I said was more important than how I said it. But I’ve learned that our energy—our attitude, our body language, and even the tone of our voice—can speak louder than words. If I walk into a room feeling angry or annoyed, people feel that. If I show up with peace, joy, and kindness, they feel that too.

God helped me see that people often remember how we make them feel more than anything else. I began to pray each morning: “God, help me be a light today. Help me leave every person feeling better, not worse.”

Now, I try to bring a calm and loving spirit wherever I go. Whether I’m standing in line at the store, talking to my family, or sitting in a meeting, I try to remember: My attitude matters.

Even Small Moments Matter

Before recovery, I didn’t think a quick interaction with a stranger could mean much. Now I know better.

A smile. A kind “thank you.” Letting someone go ahead of me in line. Offering someone a seat. Holding a door. Making eye contact and really listening when someone speaks. These small actions can stay with someone all day. I’ve had people do those things for me, and I’ve never forgotten the warmth I felt.

Now, I ask myself often: What kind of energy am I spreading today? Am I bringing peace or stress? Kindness or coldness? Encouragement or doubt?

The 12 Steps helped me see that I’m not just here to “get through” life. I’m here to love people well. I’m here to reflect the grace God gives me every day.

We Never Know Who’s Watching

One of the most humbling lessons I’ve learned is this: people are watching me even when I don’t realize it. My children. My coworkers. Strangers. People in my recovery meetings. They might be listening to how I handle stress. Watching how I treat others. Seeing how I walk through pain or disappointment. They notice how I live.

This doesn’t mean I have to be perfect. But it does mean I have a chance to be honest, kind, and real. I can be someone who brings hope. And when I mess up, I can own it and make it right. That alone can affect someone more than I know.

My Actions Are a Reflection of God’s Grace

The more I walk with God, the more I want to be someone who makes others feel seen and loved. God shows me mercy, even when I mess up. He gives me peace, even when I don’t deserve it. I want my life to reflect that.

The 12 Steps gave me tools. God gave me strength. Together, they’ve taught me that I have the power to change the atmosphere in a room. I can be someone who builds others up. I can be a quiet example of peace in a noisy world.

Each day, I ask myself simple questions:

• Did I help someone feel noticed today?

• Did my words bring comfort or confusion?

• Did I act with patience or impatience?

• Did I show God’s love, even in small ways?

These questions help me stay aware of how I’m affecting others.

The Way I Treat People Matters

We live in a busy world. People feel stressed, overwhelmed, and unseen. But every day, I get the chance to bring light into someone’s life. That matters.

I’ve learned that being kind isn’t weak. Being calm isn’t boring. Being patient isn’t passive. These things take strength. And they come from the God who lives in me.

I used to walk through life not thinking much about others. Now, with God’s help and the 12 Steps, I know I can be a light in someone’s darkness. A smile, a kind word, or just being present—it all matters.

You may never know how much your presence means to someone. You may never hear “thank you” or see the full impact you’ve had. But that’s okay.

God sees it. And sometimes, just knowing that is enough.

So as you walk through today, remember: you have the power to affect every person you meet. With God’s help, let that effect be loving, kind, and full of grace. Because the world needs more of that—and you never know whose life you’re helping change, just by being you.

I love you you are OK move on stop looking backwards and let it go - you gottawanna be free and find your purpose.