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Don't Worry About Failures—Worry About the Chances You Miss When You Don't Even Try

Writer: Sober AA MemberSober AA Member

Before I started working the 12 Steps, fear held me back from trying new things. I was afraid of failing, afraid of looking foolish, and afraid of making mistakes. That fear kept me stuck, watching life pass me by. I believed that if I didn’t try, I couldn’t fail. But through my relationship with my Higher Power and the guidance of the 12 Steps, I learned a powerful truth: The real failure is not trying at all.


Step 1: Admitting I Needed Help

The first step taught me that I couldn’t do everything on my own. I had to admit that my way wasn’t working. This was scary because it meant stepping into the unknown. But once I admitted my struggles, I saw that my Higher Power had already placed people in my life who were ready to help. By simply showing up, I was already taking a chance—and that was a victory.


Step 2: Believing in a Higher Power

I used to think I had to figure everything out by myself. Step 2 showed me that I didn’t have to rely on my own strength alone. My Higher Power was there, guiding me. When I trusted this, I found the courage to take more chances. I realized that even if I failed, I wouldn’t be alone.


Step 3: Letting Go of Control

Step 3 challenged me to surrender my fear and trust God’s plan. I had spent so much time worrying about what might go wrong that I never considered what could go right. Letting go of my need for control freed me to take chances I would have ignored before. I started applying for jobs, reaching out to friends, and saying yes to opportunities instead of talking myself out of them.


Step 4: Facing My Fears

Making a searching and fearless moral inventory in Step 4 helped me see how fear controlled my life. I looked at past opportunities I had ignored because I was scared. I wrote about times I had let fear keep me from speaking up, from trying something new, or from following my dreams. Seeing these patterns on paper helped me realize how much I had missed out on by not even trying.


Step 5: Admitting My Struggles

Step 5 taught me that I wasn’t alone. Sharing my fears with another person helped me see that I wasn’t the only one who had ever been afraid. My sponsor reminded me that every successful person had failed many times before they ever succeeded. The difference wasn’t in their failures—it was in the fact that they kept trying.


Step 6: Being Ready for Change

When I reached Step 6, I had to ask myself: Was I really ready to change? Was I willing to let go of my fear of failure and trust that my Higher Power had a plan for me? I realized that my fear was just another defect of character that was holding me back. It was time to let it go.


Step 7: Asking God for Courage

I had spent so much time asking God to take away my problems, but in Step 7, I started asking Him for courage instead. I prayed for the strength to try, even when I was scared. I asked for the willingness to take chances. And little by little, I started to change.


Step 8: Recognizing Missed Opportunities

Making a list of people I had harmed in Step 8 wasn’t just about fixing relationships—it was also about making things right with myself. I thought about times I had let people down by not showing up, by letting fear keep me from doing the right thing, or by avoiding challenges that could have helped me grow. I saw how my fears had affected not just me, but others around me.


Step 9: Making Amends and Moving Forward

In Step 9, I made amends where I could. But more than that, I committed to living differently. I didn’t want to keep missing out on life because I was afraid. I decided to take more chances—to show up, to try, to give my best effort even when I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be.


Step 10: Staying Honest with Myself

Step 10 taught me to check in with myself daily. Am I avoiding something because I’m afraid? Am I saying no when I should say yes? By staying honest about my fears, I could keep them from taking control again.


Step 11: Seeking Guidance Every Day

Through prayer and meditation in Step 11, I continued to ask for guidance. My Higher Power gave me strength and reminded me that I didn’t have to be perfect—I just had to be willing to try.


Step 12: Helping Others Find Courage

Step 12 taught me that my journey wasn’t just for me. I could now share what I had learned with others. I could encourage people who were afraid to step out in faith. I could remind them that the biggest failure is never trying at all.


The Lesson I Carry Forward


Working the 12 Steps with my Higher Power’s help has changed how I see failure. I no longer focus on what might go wrong. Instead, I focus on the chances I would miss if I let fear hold me back. Today, I try. I take risks. I step forward even when I don’t know what will happen.


Because in the end, failure isn’t the worst thing. The worst thing is never trying at all.




You gottawanna be free love you

 
 
 

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