“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
In step four of AA you are taking an honest look at yourself, both good and bad traits. This requires you to be honest with yourself. Making a list on paper or computer will allow you to inventory your resentments: people, places, things, institutions, ideas and principles with whom you have been hurt, threatened, angered, or are resentful toward. Step 4 works when you make that searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. It is the beginning of your journey into a deep dive of your character traits and defects and how it affects others. Some examples of a Step 4 inventory are listed here:
“I lie to the people I care about, and it’s hurt them.”
“I desire power, so I boast about my achievements.”
“I have alienated those around me by my selfishness.”
“I bring others down with my self-loathing and shame.”
“I am self-righteous and judgmental of others.”
“I have taken my anger out on my family and friends.”
STEP FOUR OF AA: Moral Inventory of Yourself
Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous encourages us to make, “A searching and fearless moral inventory” of ourselves. In effect, this step is designed to help those struggling with alcoholism examine their character and behaviors. Through the process of discovering the true nature of personal character, you learn to understand and identify the weaknesses that may have helped contribute to alcoholic behavior. When you identify your weaknesses, it allows you to recognize these habits in the future. As you might expect, searching yourself so intimately can be a deeply uncomfortable and challenging endeavor. Luckily, there is a process for practicing Step 4 of AA. It is suggested that you have a Sponsor to guide you through this personal work.
How Should I Work Step 4?
As you work through Step 4 you may find that it takes more time and dedication than you initially thought. However, it is a process worth conquering. Here are a few tips to help you through it.
Make a list. Take a moment to make a list of things in your life that have produced negative feelings. These may include people, institutions, principles, beliefs, life situations, or circumstances that have made you feel angry, bitter, or resentful. Even if your list is long, try not to hold back. Be honest about the things and circumstances that have produced negativity in your life, even if you recognize that those negative feelings may be unwarranted.
Accept that you are responsible for your behaviors (past, present, and future ones). As you make your list and work through Step 4, you’ll also need to stop blaming others for your behavior. You and you alone are responsible for the things you do and say.
Push through your fear. Although this step involves making a “fearless” inventory, that doesn’t mean you won’t be scared. Understandably, after you make your list, you might be hesitant to share it with your sponsor. Your sponsor should be someone you trust and you don’t have to feel ashamed or scared. Even if you’re scared, Step 4 asks you to not allow those fears to stop you from being honest with yourself and others as you examine your life and your behavior.
Firstly, we express compassion for the person who has angered us, by saying the fourth step prayer, as described on page 66 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous),
4th Step Prayer
When a person offended, we said to ourselves,
"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
The Step 4 Prayer from "How it Works"
page 66 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous
Secondly, we pray for the person who has angered us, as described in the "Freedom from Bondage" story on page 552 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
Learn to replace resentment with peace of mind.
If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free.
If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free.
Ask for their health, their prosperity, and their happiness, you will be free.
Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway.
Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.
From an AA member's story, "Freedom from Bondage" page 552 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous
Completing Step 4 is extremely challenging for many individuals and if you’re very hesitant to get started or you just don’t feel motivated to do it, you’re not alone. The best way to overcome that is to just grab a piece of paper and a pen and get started, even if you don’t feel ready.
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