Some Days You Get What You Want, Some Days You Get What You Need: How the 12 Steps and a Loving God Helped Me Understand This Truth

Sober AA Member
1 day ago
4 min read

Life doesn’t always go the way we plan. I used to think that if I worked hard enough, prayed the right way, and did everything on time, I would always get what I wanted. I thought life was supposed to be fair and go according to my wishes. But over time, I learned something very important: Some days you get what you want, and some days you get what you need. And the truth is, what you need is often better than what you wanted.

The 12 Steps and my loving God helped me learn this lesson, and it changed my life in beautiful ways. Let me tell you how.

Learning to Let Go of Control

Before I came to the 12 Steps, I tried to control everything. I thought if I could just plan it all perfectly, no one would get hurt and I’d be happy. But it didn’t work that way. Life still threw problems my way. People didn’t always act how I wanted them to, and things I hoped for didn’t happen.

The First Step taught me to admit that I was powerless over many things. I couldn’t control other people, places, or things. This was hard for me. I didn’t like to feel powerless. But when I admitted it, I felt a little bit lighter. It was like setting down a heavy backpack I had carried for too long.

Trusting a Loving God

The Second and Third Steps helped me believe in a loving God and turn my will and life over to Him. I didn’t have to run the whole world anymore. I could trust that God would take care of me.

I began to pray, “God, please show me what’s best for me today.” Sometimes what I wanted didn’t happen. I didn’t get the job I hoped for. A friendship ended. Plans changed. At first, I felt upset. But little by little, I noticed something.

The things I didn’t get often made room for something better. When one door closed, another opened. And even when it didn’t, I found strength inside I didn’t know I had.

Getting What I Needed

One day, a friend in my home group said something that stuck with me. She said, “Some days you get what you want, and some days you get what you need.” I wrote it down in my notebook.

It made sense. There were days when everything went my way. I felt like life was easy and fun. Those were the days I got what I wanted.

But then there were other days. Tough days. Days when I didn’t get what I wanted. But those were the days when I learned lessons, grew stronger, or leaned harder on God. Those were the days I got what I needed.

Finding Peace in the Ups and Downs

The 12 Steps taught me to pause when upset and ask God for help. Step Eleven reminded me to seek God’s will for me and the strength to carry it out.

I began to accept that life has ups and downs. Not getting what I wanted didn’t mean God wasn’t listening. It meant He was giving me what I needed instead.

For example, I wanted a certain person to stay in my life. But they didn’t. I cried and prayed and felt heartbroken. Later, I saw how unhealthy that relationship had been. God was protecting me, even though it hurt at the time.

Another time, I wanted a job that paid more. I didn’t get it. Instead, I stayed in a job where I met people who helped me in my recovery. That job gave me peace and taught me kindness. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what I needed.

Gratitude for Both

Today, when I wake up, I thank God for whatever the day brings. I might get what I want. I might get what I need. Either way, I trust it’s part of God’s loving plan for me.

The 12 Steps and my Higher Power have helped me understand that life is a mix of both. Wants are nice. Needs are necessary. And sometimes, the biggest blessings come wrapped in disappointment.

When I look back on my life, I see how the days I got what I needed shaped me into the person I am today. Those days taught me courage, patience, and faith.

A Simple Prayer

Now, I start each day with a simple prayer:

"God, thank You for this new day. Help me accept what You give me. Whether it’s what I want or what I need, I trust it’s good for me. Help me stay grateful and close to You.”

That prayer brings me peace. It reminds me I’m not alone. And it reminds me that life isn’t about getting everything I want — it’s about growing, loving, and trusting my Higher Power.

The 12 Steps and a loving God taught me that life is better when I let go of control and trust in something bigger than myself. Some days I get what I want, and those days are sweet. But some days I get what I need, and those days make me strong.

Both kinds of days matter. Both kinds of days are gifts. And today, I’m thankful for them all.