For a long time, I thought other people were the problem. If only they would change, if only they would do things my way, then my life would be better. I blamed my struggles on my family, my job, my past, and even the world. But working the 12 Steps showed me the truth: the biggest thing holding me back was me.
At first, this was hard to accept. It felt easier to blame others. If they were the problem, then I didn’t have to change. But the more I worked the Steps, the more I realized that my own thinking and actions kept me stuck. My fears, my resentments, and my unwillingness to let go made my life unmanageable.
Step One taught me to admit that my life was out of control and that I couldn’t fix it on my own. That was humbling. I had spent years trying to control everything and everyone. But I had to face the fact that my way wasn’t working. I needed help.
Step Two helped me see that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I had been trying to do everything on my own, and it wasn’t working. When I started trusting my Higher Power, I felt a weight lift. I didn’t have to figure everything out by myself.
Step Three asked me to turn my will and life over to my Higher Power. That meant letting go of my need to control and trusting that God had a better plan for me. It was scary at first, but it was also freeing. I didn’t have to fix everything. I just had to be willing to listen and follow.
Step Four was a big turning point. I made a fearless moral inventory of myself. I had to look at my part in my problems. Instead of focusing on what others had done to me, I had to ask, “What have I done?” This was not about beating myself up. It was about being honest. I saw patterns in my life—ways I reacted, ways I held on to anger, and ways I avoided responsibility. I couldn’t change what I didn’t acknowledge.
Step Five helped me take this even further. I shared my inventory with my sponsor and God. Saying my faults out loud was hard, but it also helped me see them clearly. My sponsor didn’t judge me. Instead, they helped me understand that I was not alone. Others had made the same mistakes, and there was a way forward.
Steps Six and Seven showed me that I couldn’t remove my defects on my own. I had to ask God for help. I had to be willing to let go of old habits, even when they felt familiar and comfortable. Change is hard, but staying the same was even harder.
Steps Eight and Nine were about making amends. Instead of blaming others, I had to take responsibility for my actions. Making amends was scary, but it was also healing. It felt good to clean up my side of the street.
As I continued working the Steps, I saw a huge shift in my life. I stopped focusing on what others were doing wrong. Instead, I looked at what I could change in myself. When I stopped blaming others, I found freedom. I realized that my happiness and peace didn’t depend on other people. It depended on my willingness to trust God, take responsibility, and keep growing.
The biggest thing holding me back was me. But that also meant that I had the power to move forward. I didn’t have to wait for others to change. I could change. And that changed everything.
you gottawanna be free of the anchor of self pity and hate please move forward with peace and love let it go enjoy your freedom to live under God's grace.
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