Do you ever wish you could make other people do what you want them to do? Maybe you want your friend to play the same games as you or your parents to let you stay up late. It's natural to have these thoughts, but sometimes we forget that we can't control other people's lives and behavior. I learned this important lesson through a group called Al-Anon, and it helped me find freedom from hate and the need to control.
**We Can't Control Others**
When I was younger, I used to think I could control everything around me. I believed that if I could make people do what I wanted, life would be perfect. But as I grew up, I realized that people have their own thoughts and feelings, and they can't always do what I want them to do.
Imagine you have a friend who likes soccer, but you love basketball. You might try to convince them to play basketball with you all the time. But what if your friend really enjoys soccer? You can't force them to like basketball just because you do. It's the same with your parents. They make rules to keep you safe and healthy, and sometimes those rules might not make you happy. But they're doing what they think is best for you.
**The Bondage of Hate and Control**
When we try to control other people and make them do what we want, it can lead to negative feelings like anger and hate. I used to get really upset when things didn't go my way. I'd argue with my friends and family, and it made me feel terrible inside.
Hate and the need to control are like heavy chains that tie us down. They stop us from being happy and enjoying life. When we're focused on trying to change others, we forget to take care of ourselves and our own happiness.
**Discovering Al-Anon**
One day, my mom told me about Al-Anon. It's a group where people who have friends or family members with alcohol problems come together to support each other. At first, I wasn't sure if it was right for me. But when I went to a meeting, I met others who felt the same way I did.
In Al-Anon, I learned that I couldn't control my family member's drinking. Just like I couldn't make my friend love basketball or change my parents' rules. But I could control how I reacted to these situations. I learned to let go of the need to control everything and focus on taking care of myself.
**Finding Freedom**
As I started to let go of my need to control, something amazing happened. I felt lighter, like those heavy chains of hate and control were slowly disappearing. I stopped arguing with my friend about which game to play and started enjoying soccer with them. I also realized that my parents' rules were made out of love, even if I didn't always like them.
Al-Anon taught me that I could be free from hate and the need to control. I didn't have to carry those heavy chains anymore. Instead, I could focus on being a happy and healthy person, and that made a big difference in my life.
So, remember, my friends, we can't control other people's lives and behavior. Trying to do so can lead to hate and make us feel trapped. But through groups like Al-Anon, we can learn to let go of the need to control and find the freedom to be ourselves. It's a journey I'm still on, but I know that as long as I focus on taking care of myself and those around me, I'll continue to grow and find happiness.
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