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Writer's pictureSober AA Member

Finding Freedom: Letting Go of Control through Al-Anon

Do you ever wish you could control everything around you? Maybe you've felt frustrated when people don't do what you want them to do. Well, I used to feel that way too, but I learned an important lesson: we can't control other people's lives or behavior, and that's okay!


Imagine you have a remote control for the world. You press a button, and everyone does exactly what you want. Sounds great, right? But here's the truth: that remote control doesn't exist. People have their own thoughts, feelings, and choices. We can't make them do what we want, no matter how hard we try.


I used to get really upset when people in my life didn't act the way I thought they should. I thought I knew what was best for them, and I wanted to make them change. This led to a lot of anger and frustration, and it made me feel like I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of trying to control everything.


Then, I discovered Al-Anon. Al-Anon is a group that helps people who have loved ones struggling with alcoholism. What I learned there changed my life. I realized that I couldn't control the person with alcoholism, just like I couldn't control anyone else.


Al-Anon taught me some valuable lessons. Here are a few:


1. **We can't control others:** Trying to control someone else's behavior only leads to stress and frustration. People have their own paths, and it's not our job to force them onto a different one.


2. **We can only control ourselves:** While we can't control others, we have full control over our own actions and reactions. We can choose how we respond to situations.


3. **Letting go is liberating:** When we stop trying to control everything, we free ourselves from the burden of anger and resentment. It's like taking off a heavy backpack and feeling lighter.


4. **Focus on self-care:** Instead of obsessing over someone else's life, it's essential to take care of ourselves. We can set boundaries, pursue our interests, and find happiness independently.


5. **Support is powerful:** Al-Anon provided me with a supportive community of people who understood what I was going through. Sharing my struggles and listening to theirs made me feel less alone.


So, how did Al-Anon help me find freedom from the need to control? By teaching me that I couldn't control others, I learned to control my reactions and emotions. I stopped hating and started understanding. I found peace by accepting that I couldn't change someone else's choices.


Remember, it's normal to want the best for the people we care about, but we must respect their journey and choices. Instead of trying to control, we can offer support and love.


In the end, letting go of the need to control is a gift we give ourselves. It's a path to freedom from hate and frustration. Thanks to Al-Anon, I discovered that true power lies in accepting what we can't control and finding peace within ourselves.


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